March 25, 2005

Dear Great Grandchildren:

At the time of this writing, I am sixty-three years old. My wife of nearly forty-two years, Pat (Mary Patricia, officially), is sixty-two. We have lived in our home at 1328 Lilac Lane, Cedar Falls, Iowa, for twenty-seven years. We have raised three children: Tony (35), single, living in Tampa, Florida; Ann (33), married to Brad Remmert, living in Cedar Falls, Iowa, with their three daughters, Josie, Calli, and Katie; and Stratton (28), single, just very recently having moved to Tyler, Texas.

My primary purpose in writing this letter to you is that I want to ensure that you have the opportunity of learning the personal values and core beliefs that our family has had the benefit of learning from our parents and grandparents during our lifetimes. From your ancestors, you now have available the benefit and opportunity of internalizing our values and beliefs by taking personal ownership of them. They are the pillars upon which we have built our lives. We offer them to you as foundations for your lives. Oh, by the way, I never knew or had any correspondence or communication with my great grandparents. I want to avoid that problem with you.

Our learning of these personal values and core beliefs was not formal, was not necessarily planned, as this letter is. They more or less came out of the ambiance of our daily lives, activities, work, and pursuits of interest. Almost a form of intuitive learning, if I may phrase it that way.

So what are my (our) personal values and core beliefs that I think are so important that I am writing you this letter with the full knowledge that we will probably never meet, hug, laugh, or share a beer or a sunset together?

First, is a clear self-image and understanding of the importance of your personal honor. You are who you are; you do what you say; you never live a lie. Consequently, you really like yourself and exude a polite personal pride in your mind and body.

Next, realizing the value of personal honor, you try to make everyone you touch and become involved with better as a result of having met you. Consequently, you really like other people because they, too, will politely exude personal pride. Let’s call this the value of personal charity.

Acquiring an education, formally and informally, is a value that opens doors as well as your minds. As a result, you will come to appreciate the value of what Socrates said, “Know thyself.” Growing your mind with technical skills and your heart with empathetic emotions are all part of the value of an education . . . which never stops.

A sense of humor, self-deprecation, and light-hearted personal conduct will make you a bigger, more charitable human being. Who likes a grump or someone who is soooo serious all the time? Me neither. Did you hear the story about . . . ?

Religious faith: Have one. What goes on in the world as you know it now and will know it later is bigger than your perception of it. One becomes stronger by seeking support and understanding from God, however you choose to define or relate to Him.

Thrift will permit you to sleep at night because by always spending less than you earn and then saving the excess, you will have no anxiety about money and bills. Sweet dreams are guaranteed.

Even by living according to these values and core beliefs, the road of your life will encounter potholes and even washouts. When that happens, holding on to the value of family first, me second (a variation on personal charity), will keep your life on course. Family support, received unconditionally from those you love, and who love you, will keep your life in the middle of the road regardless the elements and agonies.

Finally, be a battler, be a fighter, be a warrior when it comes to your doing what has to be done to be the best you can be, to reach the pinnacle of your life’s significance. While always remaining civil in your behavior, do not hesitate to stand up for who you are in the face of public opinion, work performance, or the welfare of others. You are who you are because of the strengths that you glean from the values and beliefs I described. Stand tall; stand proud. All of your family(ies) are behind you.

Well, now we know each other better than we would have had I not written and you not read this letter. By each of us taking these actions, we have now connected and extended our family bond. Now, it is your turn to write your letter. And when you do, why not attach a copy of this one? Genuine love transcends generations especially if everyone is aware of it. Therefore, know that we love you. Know that we dreamed of you before you were you. And, we are all the better for it.

Your Great Grandfather,

Larry L. Van Oort